Ame Soeur

We walk hand in hand though we are miles apart

Our thoughts seem to be intertwined even though we are not together

…

My mind never falters, helplessly it’s always with you

My thoughts have their own way, never are they bound to me

My heart yearns like it has never yearned before

…

As we walk hand in hand…

Sometimes we fail to see the horizon

The darkness seems suffocating and the leaves beneath our feet feel like thorns

But then the warmth of our feelings and the firmness of our intertwined hands…

It takes away the pain, hopelessness and fear and drenches us with light

…

Sometimes the pain is physical, a squeezing of the heart

Sometimes the pain is sweet, a lightness of the heart

But always a feeling of missing, an absent longing heart

Beyond the torrent of rain

You see.
Nowadays it always feels like its raining.
I look out the window. To the world outside.
I don't see the trees or the houses.
What I see are just the raindrops.

Sometimes I try to look beyond the rain.
At the world afar.
But somehow the rain blurs my vision.
It doesn't let me see. I feel blinded.

Dread fills me sometimes. It brings on doubt.
I try to let it out.
Let it not consume me.
But it clouds my judgement and dashes my hope.
It clouds my mind, my thoughts, my mood

But that's only on some days.

Other days I smile.
I keep hope. I let it guide me.
I keep it close. I hold on it tight.
Its very evasive. Hope.
Sometimes when I am not careful it slips away
But mostly its with me. My companion.
I let it draw me out to see the sun in the horizon
And see to the future.

Falling

A feeling so unknown

I fail to understand it

I feel the stretch, the pull

I don't hold on to anything...

Well knowing I am falling

I fall...

A feeling so unreal 

It brings me so much all at once

A feeling of extreme joy, and of sudden fear

It brings a strange light to my being

And it brings unrest and peace

As I delve further down...

Falling and falling and falling

I love this new feeling even though I don't fully understand it

I love the way it twirls me about as I fall and fall and fall...

My friend...

Chilly wind.
Curtains of rain.
A figure walks along. Lost in reverie.

....

I ask you friend.
Why are you alone, even as so many sorround you.

Your heart glows.
Light spreads from it.
Bringing peace to those around.
Yet why?
I ask, are your eyes so sad.

I see the desire you have.
To find that unknown joy. The evasive peace.
Yet you close yourself to it. 

I ask you friend.
Why are your eyes closed,open them and look around

The answers you seek.
The freedom you want.
to express yourself.
to unravel your wishes, thoughts, choices
are all right there, my friend.
Within you.

So I ask you friend.
To bring out that courage.
So you can feel the happiness.
Just like the way you bring it to others.

I ask you my friend,
to look beyond the rain and the darkness.
To see the light and seek your true self.
Let it envelop you and guide you.

Let not others define you. Dictate you.

My friend.
Listen to yourself. Seek your true self.
And bring that beautiful smile you have to your eyes.

Lapse of Time

A feeling unreal.

An image completely familiar. Yet so unknown.

Time taking a step back. A break. Observing all.

Yet reserving none.

Not judging. Just reflecting. Sinking. Sinking. Sinking.

What is it I see?

I question.

But to who?

To what I see--- or to what this moment shows me?

Is it a sign? A signal? A message? A call?

Maybe a helping hand...lifting me...as I slowly sink into the depths of superficiality.

Unsettling. But not startling. Strange. But not surprising.

Medley of thoughts. All evaporated. In that frame. At that point.

Just the moment remaining. Hanging in the air.

As quickly as it comes, the moment passes.

Yet the feeling lies deep inside.

Breaking something, far inside.

Releasing something from something deeper still.

Stillness. Silence. Stillness.

Interpreter of dreams

Dark dreams, dreams of love.
Dreams of hope, and haunting dreams.
She read them all...
After a night of dreams, everyone went to her,
just as she knew they would.
They wanted answers. And she had them.
For she was the interpreter of dreams.

She listened to them as they talked to her dreams.
And she read their faces, she laughed, she cried,
she gasped and felt the dreams like they were her own.
And so like that they got their answers and they passed the dream to her.

They needed her...but the truth was she needed them more.
She asked for no money, nor the gold
All she needed was for the dreams to be told.
For she was the interpreter of dreams.

You see, she had no dreams of her own. But she always had theirs.
Their dreams would hold her as she worked.
They would feed her, cajole her.
And when the darkness of the night would befall her,
they would hold her close so could sleep without loneliness.

But then something happened. Unexpectedly?
She felt something new. A new desire. Hope.
And slowly the people stopped coming. And so did their dreams.
The nights became unbearably lonely.
The people dreamed theirs dreams, but never came to her.
Had she lost the ability to feel theirs dreams.
Was she no longer the interpreter of dreams?

As she lay one night, no ones dreams to coax her to sleep.
For the first time in her life...she dreamed a dream of her very own.
And she became the interpreter of her own dreams.

Time

How long had I sat there doing nothing?
I am not sure.
Well, it was long enough.
I was bored. I was absolutely bored. Out of my wits bored.
How could I have become bored of something I liked doing so much?
But I suppose if you do it long enough, you eventually get bored.

As if suddenly, I realized how much time had passed by.
No, not the couple of hours. A much longer time.
An eon.
And here I was counting the time. Backwards.
It was no longer about the boredom, was it?
Or about what was to be done(wish it was).
It was all about what had and hadn't happened.

More importantly, what hadn't happened.
Because what hadn't happened was what caused what had happened to happen.
Pathetic.