Diamonds in the dark

I was driving into the night because there was too much waiting, I did not want to wait there staring at the people walking or at the other people who were also waiting. I didn't want to feel like I was in the middle of everyone, everything, even when I really wasn't. And so I passed the bus stop without stopping, and drove off into a direction I had never gone to. I passed a lab, a couple of odd buildings, a few houses, but eventually there were no longer any houses or buildings, only trees and small lanes branching off. My thoughts turned to myself. I realized suddenly what a fool I had been. The grandest one. Others had fooled me, and I had fooled myself. I grinned in the darkness. It was almost laugh out loud funny. Almost. And what was this new character I had developed? I asked myself. I answered back: A mask. A mask? How pathetic. And scary. When I looked into the mirror, was it a stranger I saw? Or me with a mask? Or well, just me? Maybe it wasn't a mask. It was just what I have become, what I am becoming. A thought far more scarier. I don't know, I said to myself. You don't know. Myself told me. I said out load: I am a fool who is pathetic, malicious and confused. Then I did laugh out loud. My own laughter brought me out of my thoughts and I suddenly remembered, that I had to head back to the bus stop. So I entered into one of the side paths. This path turned out darker than the road I had turned from. Suddenly I felt a choking sense of defeat. In the process of taking a U-turn, I stopped. I asked myself. How had I let everything happen so? Or was it really I who had let it happen? I stayed so for a few moments thinking, until I sensed a moment in the trees lining the path. I turned the car towards the trees unknowingly, and there in the complete darkness I saw a pair of eyes. Shining. Fear gripped me. I froze. I stared at them, and the eyes stared back at me. I saw nothing but the eyes. What could they belong to? Moments passed. Suddenly the deer stepped forward. Its beauty startled me. And I felt relieved. Not only from fear but something else. The deer walked off into the woods, and I turned the car around and went back to the bus stop, no longer thinking about my self.