Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Fear

Randomly at times I am gripped by fear. It comes suddenly. Or maybe its always there in the background, ready to spring when time comes. I keep this kind of fear to myself. I cant tell my family, they face the same fear too. We all know of it. It moves around in the shadows, but we all act as if it doesn't exist. Its unspoken and understood.
If I hear a freaky story somewhere, something involving ghosts or maybe murderers on the loose, I have to tell someone. I tell my whole family, maybe while we are eating dinner or something. They either laugh or ask me why I had to tell them such a story, I tell because in some ways it makes me less afraid. Or so I feel.
People tell me I am strange. I am afraid of the dark, fear ghosts and the supernatural. Hate watching scary movies, don't sleep for many nights when I watch them. They ask how is it that you handle the bigger fears so much better. I think everyone is capable of that. When the situation comes everyone hides those fears to do what is to be done. I have seen so many do that. Especially those who are afraid of the dark ;)
When I was a freshman in high school, in our bio class we watched a movie(based on true events) about a man who came through windows, kidnapped girls while they were sleeping, and later raped and killed them. For weeks after that I always kept all my windows closed, I was very afraid of the dark, and went through many sleepless nights. What I didn't realize was many of the girls in my class were going through the same fear. Months later when we had forgotten about the movie I came to learn of that. Maybe if I had found out before, I would have shared the fear with them, and maybe felt a little less afraid.
Everyone lives in fear. Fear of something. Rich man lives in fear that he wont make as much profit as he made the year before. Student afraid he wont pass his class. Politician is afraid of not being reelected. What makes a man hurt another? Fear. Fear is the root of everything. As Vivekananda said,"Fear is death, fear is sin, fear is hell, fear is unrighteousness. All the negative thoughts and ideas that are in this world have proceeded from this evil spirit of fear" So what do we do, do we stop fearing everything?
When someone hits you, what do you do. You either hit them back or you don't. Say you don't. Why don't you? Is it because you believe in peace, you truly believe in Mahatma Gandhi's words, "Eye for an eye makes the whole world blind", or is it because you are afraid. Should fear be the reason why your not hitting back. When someone is attacking your world, do you not fight back because your afraid. When people attack you, those you love---ultimately to create fear. Do you succumb to it, and not attack back because of it?

Friday, January 2, 2009

Darkness

I found this poem while I was cleaning my room. I don't remember when I wrote it. Thought I'll put it here.
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Darkness.
When I was young it haunted me in the night.
It enveloped me, like a black velvety blanket.
But that darkness of the night doesn't haunt me anymore.
Its the darkness of the heart that does.

As I walk down the road, it sneers as it hides behind the building.
Its there as I walk past the drug dealers.
Its still there as suicide bombers crash, as soldiers die in the battles.
Its there as I walk past dead bodies, its face triumphant as if it has won.
But has it?

It still hasn't touched me.
It hasn't won.
Because however much hate there is in the world.
Love still lives and wins.